For any relationship to thrive, trust is pivotal. It is an important part of the foundation of
every healthy relationship. In fact, without trust, there is no healthy
relationship.
Some might actually be wondering what this
"Trust" means. Could that be you? Don't worry. Let me take you
through the meaning of trust first: It is generally the act of placing
confidence and being able to depend on someone or something.
Let me add that trust is the foundation of every
relationship from which a strong connection can be built. Without trust between
couples, relationships won’t grow and progress to a deeper level. It brings
better understanding and mutual respect. More so, it makes the relationship
stronger, where both people can come together without being afraid of judgment.
Most times, when people hear the word
"trust", they think it's one person's (one partner's) responsibility.
Hell NO! Yea, you heard me!! It doesn't work that way!!!
The very moment
you start lying to your partner, you've unknowingly started destroying the
trust- bond between you two. Partners must keep their words and promises in
order to improve trust.
Image sources: pinterest
Pause for a second and answer this question- Are you
sure there is trust existing between you and your partner? It's true that some
people may not even know if they lost trust in their relationship long ago.
Quickly, let me take you through the various signs that may point to mistrust
in the relationship.
1. Isolation or separation from your
partner
When I mention separation, I do not only mean physical
isolation or separation. Of course, one can be emotionally separated from the
other. Following fear of commitment to untrusted partner. You may possibly
withdraw gradually, to a point that he or she doesn't make the relationship a
priority.
2. Less commitment.
People with trust issues often commit less to their
relationship. This happens most times as a result of the fact that they don't
want to be hurt. Especially the ladies, they do not want to give their heart to
someone who doesn't take them seriously.
3. Being overly secretive
It is true that two persons (partners) can live
together, but one doesn't know the password to the other's phone. Yes, one
might not know the other's whereabout! These are clear signs of mistrust. Some
victims make statement such as- "I'm scared that he will not accept me for
who I am", "I'm scared he won't let me in", etc. When you hear
things like these, know that the trust level between the both of you is low!
4. Picking fights.
We understand the fact that fight in the home can
emanate from various root cause. However, if one partner picks up fight with
the other all because of just answering phone call, going out to meet with
friends, playing with him or her or even using his or her belongings, may point
to mistrust. The reason to this is that, those points mentioned above aren't
things that should lead to fight, rather, could be settled with few gentle
words.
5. Feeling overprotective.
Trust issues may cause you to feel overprotective and
hypervigilant. This occurs as a result of zero trust between both parties,
making the partners feel not save around the other.
The above points would indicate if you are already
having trust issues in your relationship. But you know what? You don't have to
panic if that applies to you. Below are magic steps to regaining full trust
from your partner:
1. Practice forgiveness
Trying to rebuild trust after a betrayal? forgiveness
is crucial! Not only will you need to forgive your partner, but you also may
need to forgive yourself. Blaming yourself in some way for what happened can
keep you stuck in self-doubt. That can hurt the chances of your relationship’s
recovery.
Depending on the betrayal, it might be hard to forgive
your partner and move forward. But try to remember that forgiving your partner
isn’t saying that what they did was OK.
Rather, you’re motivating yourself to come to terms
with what happened and leave it in the past. You’re also giving your partner a
chance to learn and grow from their mistakes.
2. Effective Communication
Let me first mention that talking alone is
therapeutic. Infect, it is medicinal! Making ample time to talk things out
after a broken relationship or trust is key to losing the grudges you both had
against each other. This will also facilitate forgiveness amongst you.
3. Forget the past.
After effective communication has taken place and you
both have come to agreement, then the sleeping dog should lie! Needles of
bringing up the issue in future arguments. Most people can't forgive and
forget. Honestly, when you decide to give the relationship a second chance,
you’re also deciding to trust your partner again. Maybe you can’t completely
trust them right away, but you’re implying you’ll give trust a chance to
regrow.
4. Apologize sincerely
There's an adage that says that "a peaceful reply
prevents a bloated heart". This means that sincere apologies have a large
part to play in the ability of your partner to forgive and forget. If you cheated, or otherwise damaged your
partner’s faith in you, a genuine apology is a good way to start making amends.
It’s important to acknowledge you made a mistake.
5. No secretes
How do you trust your partner if you feel some secrets
are plaguing your relationship? When building trust in the relationship between
you and your partner, transparency is critical. No compromised honesty or
secrets if you are learning to trust again.
Trust in marriages or relationships needs openness and
honesty. Building trust in a relationship and keeping secrets are mutually
exclusive.
6. Not going back
After cool discussion/deliberations as regards the
bone of contention that led to the mistrust, it is advisable that you do not go
back and repeat same acts again!
For the fact that your partner is able to forgive and
forget the past doesn't mean he/she will have the grace to do so for a second
time. This is why you need to watch your actions and words. Always know that
before any relationship thrive, both parties involved will have to make
deliberate and conscious effort for that to be achieved!
In conclusion, it is very possible to revive your relationship after severe damage caused by mistrust. In my words, communication is key! If you follow the above steps carefully, certainly, you will have ample reasons to smile back at your partner again!
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